Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Life is very short: "have not felt like posting lately."

I have not posted in two weeks, but it feels like it has been ages. A lot has happened in my life since I last had a cup of coffee with you. And actually, it has been a lifetime since I last was here, a very short and very precious lifetime. Let me explain…

A few weeks ago my wife and I learned that she was pregnant with our first child. For those of you who have experienced this you know what joy it is to be expecting your first. We could hardly contain our excitement, but we worked hard and kept it a secret. We were hoping to wait until after the first doctor’s appointment so that we could share the news with our parents, and give them a clean bill of health for our baby.

Flash forward to Labor Day, September 5th. As my wife and I were preparing to go to her family’s house to celebrate the holiday it quickly became clear that something was not right. Immediately we knew that our child was in danger. What a feeling. To know that your child is in danger, but there is nothing you can do to help. We were scared and quite frankly we did not know what to do. Somehow we figured out a way to tell our parents we are pregnant and the there is a problem all in the same phone call. After a call to my wife’s doctor we had an appointment for Tuesday, and instructions to rest. Our Labor Day was spent with my wife’s feet elevated, and long silences.

As minutes turned into days, hours into months, and a day into a lifetime. Tuesday finally came. On Tuesday September 6, 2005 the worst case scenario came to pass. We lost our first baby before we even knew him/her. As we drove home through the tears we began the healing process. A process that is still proving to be a slow one.

I do not know why the Lord chose to take our child from us, and so I try not to focus on it. Instead my wife and I are trying to focus on what we do know:

* We do know that God gave us the life of our child, and it was a life that was his to take back.

* We do know that there is some good purpose that God has for all of this.

Romans 8:28 - 9:1 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. 31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died- more than that, who was raised- who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

* We know that our child is in the presence of the Lord.

2 Samuel 12:16-24 David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17 And the elders of his house stood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18 On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, "Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us. How then can we say to him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm." 19 But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" They said, "He is dead." 20 Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate. 21 Then his servants said to him, "What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food." 22 He said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, 'Who knows whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?' 23 But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me." 24 Then David comforted his wife, Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her, and she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. And the LORD loved him

* We know that the Lord has blessed us with the ability to conceive.

* We know that we are going to have to run to Scripture and let the Spirit of God work through the Word of God to bring about the healing process.

* We know that as we teach the Youth through the book of James our response to this will impact our students more than any lesson we could ever teach.

* We know that our job as parents is to bring children up who will love the Lord and be a part of His kingdom, this has happened by God’s grace to our first baby.



By his Grace,
Paul

2 Comments:

Anonymous Kendall said...

Good words, brother. We went through a similiar situation in 1998. Our prayers are with you both.

13/9/05 9:56 PM  
Anonymous Carmen said...

Oh, how His Word heals!
Praying for you.

15/9/05 11:04 PM  

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